Wednesday 23 March 2011

Onwards and Upwards

Spring is finally here! It's the first slightly warm day we've had this year and I'm feeling chirpy. I never cared about weather during the WoW days. In fact, warm weather to me just meant dealing with a hot and sticky laptop. Or worse - shock horror - someone's laptop over heating during a raid! Usually the tank, so we'd waste the evening doing /dance in Icecrown Citadel while the tank stuck his laptop in the fridge for a while, perhaps never to return.

I'm still reading loads, and I've recently been mulling over an idea for a novel I'd like to write. I used to do a lot of creative writing, but as I'm sure a lot of aspiring writers will understand, if you don't have a lot of confidence in what you write it can fill you with a kind of self loathing, and that used to really put me off. I figure this time I'm going to just go with it. If it comes out as utter tripe, well, at least I will have created something that someone might one day enjoy. That's the thing about WoW, yes you create something, but it's a selfish creation, one that no one else will ever benefit from.

I looked up poor old retired Mojozi on the WoW Armory yesterday as I was feeling a bit nostalgic. It was sad to see the message "character profile no longer available as the character has been inactive for X amount of time". I guess I need to accept that that part of my life is really over.

Tuesday 8 March 2011

The Highs and Lows of the Guild Master

I haven't been updating this blog as often as I meant to. Probably because I'm out enjoying THE REAL WORLD! and not spending as much time on my laptop.

My most recent discovery? David Lynch's film debut Eraserhead, wow what a surreal and haunting film. I never used to cope too well with films during my WoW addiction. My boyfriend would nag me to watch something and I'd spend the next two hours feeling twitchy and anxious, worried about what I was missing in-game or what was going on in my guild.

A big part of the problem for me was that for a good year of my WoW-playing history I was a guild master. Any ex-GMs reading this will I'm sure back me up, it's a hell of a lot of responsiblity. Don't get me wrong, there were some great times in my guild, times that made me glow with pride, times that made it all worthwhile. I led two different raid teams in downing the Lich King for the first time, and the personal messages of gratitude I received after that were so touching.

But I'm beginning to sound overly nostalgic now aren't I? "No, don't waver Jen, don't go back there!" I hear you cry. Don't worry, I won't. For every good moment there were a million bad ones. A lot of hardcore WoW players get kind of sucked into a microcosm, it becomes their whole world, and petty, petty little matters get blown into full scale dramas, which, as GM, it often fell to me to sort out. Sometimes it would make me dread logging in. My loading screen would barely be out the way before I'd be bombarded by 3 or 4 whispers, often not even remotely connected to the running of the guild. I began to feel like a counsellor to a bunch of slightly depressed, reclusive addicts.

You're probably wondering how something causing this much hassle could be so addictive. It's a good question, one I don't have the answer to. A big milestone came when I realised I couldn't deal with that aspect of the game anymore and I left them for a bit of peace and quiet as a casual member of a different guild.

But anyway, back to my new and improved life. I've just had the most refreshing week off work. We took trips out every single day, just simple, geeky stuff like joining the library and having afternoon tea in quaint little cafes (it's one of my other really nerdy habits). It sounds like a cliche but fresh air really does lift your mood, not just psychologically but in an actual, solid, chemical-releasing way.

I threw my WoW authenticator in the bin last week. I really don't think there will ever be any going back now. I'm not sure what Blizzard's deal is on lost authenticators but I imagine it's a right pain to sort out.

Thanks for the lovely comments on here by the way, and I hope this blog might help give a few more full-on addicts the strength to quit.